Apostleship of Prayer
 
 

The relationship comes first (Part 2)

 The story of the Rich Young man is a good example of what has just been said. When the rich young man told Jesus his journey, 'Jesus looked on him, and loved him" (Mark 10: 17-22). So they had a good relationship running between them. But when Jesus invited the young man to give up his possessions and follow him, the young man lost sight of the relationship and only looked at what he would be giving up. It was too much for him: "He went away sad …" The mistake he made was not to keep the relationship running by saying to Jesus, "Jesus, if you really want me to give up everything I possess, you have got to help me; I am no there yet, and I am not even sure I want to be there. But I do want to keep up our relationship, and I know your love can change everything."

One of the main reasons it is so important to keep things relational is that, if we give our attention to an issue, we are directing our emotional energies, and our awareness, 'out there'. And when we do that, we lose our 'interiority' -- our inner space -- and we become stuck. But if we tell Jesus how a particular issue is affecting us, we experience the issue in terms of our relationship with him, and so we move 'inside', into our hearts. This movement within fosters our inner space -- which is another name for freedom.

A number of years ago I was helping a young couple prepare for their marriage, and along the way, some rather difficult questions arose. It was most painful for both of them, but eventually they sorted things out. Afterwards the young lady told me, "We'd been looking at all the problems, and lost sight of the relationship. But once we got back to the relationship, and told each other how much it meant to us and how much we loved each other, everything else became secondary."
The same holds true in our relationship with Jesus. If we focus on our problems or on ' what we have to do', we can end up feeling overwhelmed. But if we focus on the relationship by telling Jesus how various issues affect us, then the issues will not loom nearly so large. And if we can go one step further and ask, "Jesus, what do you want? What do want me to do?," we will find our selves experiencing an unexpected peace.

Patrick O'Sullivan, SJ

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